I used to have a fortune, then I lost it.

I've seen firsthand how financial institutions treat people with money—and those without it. When you’re a high net worth individual, everyone comes out of the woodwork to help you. They help minimize your taxes, manage your cash and investments, pay your bills, write your will and plan for your future.

Really what they're doing is helping you keep your money, because the more money you have, the more it needs managing, or so they want you to believe.

Those same people wanted nothing to do with me when I had debt and an average amount of money. In times of trouble when you need financial advice the most, everyone runs for the hills. There’s no one there to help you. You’re on your own, trying desperately to figure out complex financial terms and phrases when your stress and anxiety levels are soaring.

Regardless of whether I had money or not, one thing was constant: I worried about money incessantly. I was always anxious and fearful about my finances. It’s a legit fear; we all have money challenges.

Rich or poor, male or female, money stress is an equal opportunity feeling.

When we live in a state of high financial alert—which most of do—we siphon off our body's power. But we need energy to stave off fear and move into a solution. How do we do this? By being vulnerable. By planning and creating security.

Wishing for financial security will not make it true. Trust me, I tried.  

So here’s what I’ve learned: Spend less money than you earn. Start saving as young as possible. Find a saving partner. Engage your family and friends to create emotional and practical support. Be brave and ask questions. Create balance. Keep talking and enjoy the power that comes from saying, “I don’t know.” Pick partners who want you to succeed, not those who you think know more than you do. Surround yourself with people who are kind teachers, not lecturers.

Trust yourself, your gut, your supporters, and the facts. The more you share your money worries and successes, the faster they will lessen.

Finally, go easy on yourself.

We carry a lot of shame around money because we don't understand it as well as other things in our lives. But most of us never learned about money. No one ever taught us. We weren't taught this stuff in school and there's no instruction manual. So how would we know? Don't let the people who do know about money make you feel less than.

Cause that's just BS.